‘this is my brain…..this is my brain on M.S. Drugs…. any questions?

Yes….1 hour and 25 minutes until the WEEKEND ! Just have to survive that laaaaaaast little bit. I am at lunch right now. Took it late because I was right in the middle of a project and didn’t want to lose the momentum. So, now I just have to lay low….basically hide in my cubicle….type quietly….ignore the phone…and maybe I’ll be invisible. Uggh, I am just TIIIIIIIRED. Brain tired, body tired, totally tired. M.S. will do that to you.

That M.S. fatigue is a REAL thing. I figure, it’s because our brains are trying to create and use new pathways to complete tasks that now scarred/dead areas used to do. I mean, aren’t a lot of those pathways created while we are still hooked to our moms by the umbilical cord? Isn’t that what our brains are doing for the first few years of our life? Our brains are mapping areas for language, math, speech, and every other function our bodies carry out everyday. Our brain is the master puppeteer. “Be hungry, be happy, be angry, blink, breathe, pump the heart, lift left leg….put left leg down….repeat with right leg….move forward, laugh, cry, think, pee, reason, add, divide, run, play music, be artistic, yawn, hiccup…….etc. etc. etc.

People with M.S. end up with damage to areas of the brain that help get the above tasks done. Some people have a hard time walking, speaking, reasoning, talking. The possibilities for problem issues are huge. Now, to continue living and functioning, our brains try to fix themselves. Sometimes it is quick, and very successful. The longer you have M.S. though, the slower the repair gets…and you can only try to fix the same spots so many times. All that fixing is EXHAUSTING.

That is my take at least. I mean, if I didn’t take 2 different medicines to keep me awake and able to concentrate during the day I’d be a pile of pudding. I mean I’d be flat out on the couch not moving for most of the day.

Before I knew I had M.S., somewhere between 2001 and 2004, I’d get up, take my elementary school children to school, pick up my carpool work buddy, go run on the beach, go to work, leave work and get the kids, drop of said carpool work buddy, and go home. After getting home I would immediately try to get a Really, Really, Really quick dinner together. Hot Dogs and macaroni and cheese, spaghetti noodles with sauce or butter if we didn’t have sauce, soup and grilled cheese…..easy, quick food. I’d play 5 minutes of fetch with Abagail Saree Sweet (the worlds most AWESOME, LOVING, PERFECT, Chocolate Lab). – I miss my Abbsie Wabbsie….but she is in Doggie Heaven now – . I’d feed the cats and Miss Wabbsie. Then I would go back to the room and promptly fall asleep by 6:30 p.m. I was soooooo tired that I could sleep until the next morning. I wouldn’t do that very often though. I would force myself to get up around 8:00 or 8:30, bathe the kids, and get my babies ready for bed. I’d get the kids clothes, my work clothes and my running clothes set out for the next day.

That was it…..It was all I could do. The husband wasn’t happy of course……I was ALWAYS tired. I had to make sure everyone ate….bathed….and went to bed. That was all my tired self could handle. I couldn’t even sit on the couch when I came home. I would be out within 10 minutes.

UGGH…..TIRED. Well now I FEEL less tired. My alertness is caused by medicine, but shit….I’ll take that over sleeping my life away.

Author: jen

I am the first child of 5. 2 of those siblings are half sisters and 2 are half brothers. I have 2 adult children and 3 dogs. CRAZY, CRAZY dogs. I obsessively collect orchids. Not really pretty orchids.....I feel bad for the sickly orchids you see at your local grocery store or gas station. I get those and try to nurse them back to health. UGGH, I am a glutton for punishment.

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